The Beginning

New post for the new year! Okay, as you can see, I'm back to my cheerful self. No more tears for now. Everything will be held back. I've reached the stage of acceptance, and this is just fate I guess. Fate can just be a bitch at times.

So anyway, what I wanted to share here was what happened this morning in the ward. I didn't know it would be that hard. Standing there amidst the patients who were about your age was hurtful and to think that I was not there with you made it even worse. I held back my tears in the ward, but a lot of my colleagues somehow sensed that something was wrong and offered a sincere 'Are you okay?'. It was comforting. But the scar is still there to heal.

This past few days has been kinda tough. I can't help but to think how irresponsible I was. How uncaring I was towards you. But what I was worried most was my mummy dear. She's one heck of a strong lady. I've not seen her burst into tears in my 22 years of life. Even when I cried through the phone when I first came to Sabah and even made my dad cried, she was strong and was calm to comfort both my dad and I. See how strong she is? This must have been a major blow for her, and to think I was not there for her when she needed me most crushed me even deeper. :(

Well all that I want to say has been said. But action needs to be done. This has really thought me a lesson of not taking things for granted in life. I love you so much, and as heart breaking it was to watch you leave, I have to let you go. I'm sure you're in heaven now, looking upon us hopefully with a smile on your face.

So for this new year, I've listed a few of my new year's resolution in my mind. 1 that tops it all is that I promise to care for those, and cherish those all around me. I will not take all of you for granted and hopefully we'll share wonderful memories as we progress along the years. This stays as my resolution no matter what. *fingers crossed* Till the next post

-KaRLeeN-