Weighty Issue

I've always been conscious about my size. Be it vertically or horizontally. Growing up was not particularly easy for me as it just seems that I have that much more of growth hormone compared to everybody else. Exhibit A..

Taken back in Standard 6 (mind the hair please :P)

See what I mean? Towering over the boys, sitting rite at the back of the class, standing at the back while lining up are all too normal for me. It does create a sense of insecurity I would say. I think the same goes for those who dwarfs in comparison to others, or are just too skinny. Well I've actually struggled with both the extremes, insecurities on both my height and weight.

Picture taken in 2008

As I walked (more like tip-toed) into my teenage years, I've grown to absolutely love my height. Although I still tower over my girl friends and appear just that much huge-r, I am glad that I'm tall. Well it does help pulling you upwards and not side ways to hide those extra flabs. Thank god for that! Exhibit B...

Get what I mean?

Then comes the sensitive issue that most girls fear. Weight! Well I've always been on the heavier side since I was born. According to O&G text book, I'm a big baby. Risky baby. Being post dated, and so huge weighing at 4.1kg, my friends and I would be terrified to even be considering to conduct that delivery. Doesn't help that my mom is small too. Making that delivery that tad more dangerous. Love you mummy!

Taken on my island trip in year 2008

I remembered always being embarrassed to mention about my weight. My nightmare would always be the day when everyone have to check their BMI scores. That means weight and height! While all my peers are like 20+kg, I was like 30+kg going into 40kg. Then when 40-50kg was acceptable, I was on the verge of being 60kg. So I've struggled.. and struggled bad!

Taken during my first semester in UMS

As I'm a person who just love flipping through photo albums reminiscing the good old days, 1 reaction that I always have is 'OMG! I'm so big!' Exhibit C...

I look that much bigger right?

How about this? OMG just wouldn't describe it

I would just love to burn this picture away

But I chose not to delete any of those picture, just to remind me to continue watching my weight. One of my friend in UMS has been lending me his ears, listening to me non-stop saying I'm gonna diet, and this time I would be successful. You'll see a whole new hot version and me etc etc. Well, sad to say, after saying that for 3 years now, nothing much has changed. Lol. Blame it on my indetermination. *sigh*

Taken at just the right angle?

I look thinner here no?

As I continue this post, you maybe thinking I'm like self-obsessed or something like that. Maybe I am, I don't know. It's up to individual evaluation. I was never really happy with my weight. Never! It's sad thinking back, cos at times I did look good (to me at least), well I did have my flawed moments too. Exhibit D..

Maybe the car was big making me look that much slimmer?

Blame it on the tiny penguins to make me look that much bigger. Lol

Oh yea. Growing up was additionally painful when you just have the 'PERFECT' sister ever! I mean to me she's the definition of perfect. I for one can't seem to find flaws in her (not that I am trying to). She's smart, she's nice, she's beautiful, she's athletic, she's independent and successful, she's just everything to me. Well minus her being hard headed and just that teeny-tiny bit garang (which makes her even more perfect), she's just my idol since young. So hard to try to live up to her.

The Chong siblings

She's just so sweet rite?

Everyone must have had a person who they wanted to be when they were young. Needless to say, mine was my sister. She just has the coolest friends, and has the most fun all the time. Well I guess god did have His plans for me, just look how far he has separated me from her! But somehow I know I'll survive (although I still miss her dearly)

Life doesn't look all that bad huh? :)

Coming back to the same issue, I guess I should just be glad that my (thankfully), my BMI was never at the overweight area, and I'm still healthy enough to enjoy my daily activities without huffing and puffing away. Whether I look good or bad in pictures, it's just the way I am and I'll just have to accept it as it is. *smiles* Now, going down memory lane, here are some pictures to show how much I've bloomed over the years.

Health promotion 2009

CNY 2010

Back in Taiwan 2009 (love my legs here.. *grins*)

Still in Kenting, Taiwan 2009

Earlier this year performing at the school Annual Dinner

Balancing on the ostrich egg earlier this year

After the haircut in early January 2010

Recently Gracie commented that I got chubbier after coming to Sandakan. I think I did too! That really had me thinking, what if I continue to pile on the pounds in Sdk? Here's a pic of me and my friends in Sdk, do I look that much different?

After the awesome steamboat on 30th Aug 2010

All in all, I think I should be grateful with who I am and just be proud of it. But then, maybe now I should hit the gym, or jog, or swim, or play tennis or just keep myself active to keep myself from growing any more sideways cause god knows I can't be growing any taller now. So off to keep myself busy to shed those extra pounds! Till the next post!

-KaRLeeN-