Viscious Cycle

Yes. It's that time again. The dreadful exams! But before I get there, of cos a wish of 'Selamat Hari Raya' to everyone out there! It has been a year already! The last raya was so awesome cos I had my sister and brother over here! =) Time seem to have passed so fast, and everything seem to have changed now.

So as I was saying exams. Yes, whenever exams come, I'll start over analyzing things again (I mean I always over-analyze things but this is on a different scale of severity!), and then come up with a conclusion that will just pull me down entirely. Not enough of letting the stress of exams getting to me, I'm even thinking about the ongoing of everyday life, and letting that get to me. Haih~ It's really a viscious cycle that I had not learnt to break.

So everybody around me occasionally pops up the question 'Are you okay?' recently. I mean I do feel touched with the kind gesture of them asking, I'm not feeling like overwhelmed by their questions. No! Nothing like that. It's just that even I got myself thinking, 'Am I alright?'. Truth be told, on the exterior I'm fine, on the interior, I'm really crushing and picking up the pieces. I still can go on life with a smile on my face, but it somehow just feels, well, empty.

I don't know how long this feelings will last. They say it can take seconds, days, months or even years to heal a broken heart. I still don't know. But I would say I'm showing some improvements. I'm more optimistic now. Hopefully this optimism stays on, and I do need to concentrate more on other more serious matter (i.e my studies. Eeek!). So off to the books and assignments and pray for the best. Till the next post!

-KaRLeeN-