Monday, October 5, 2015

Embracing Changes

I think reality is starting to hit upon me as the day I'm about to leave inch closer and closer. I've always found comfort in writing on my blog whenever I hit a really tough road block. That's why I think I'm writing again. 

To those closer to me would know that I'd be leaving this Sunday to serve the state that I have grown very fond of. Yes that's Sabah. I'm heading back there again after putting a useless 'fight' against my superior to stay over here in Peninsular Malaysia. Don't take it the wrong way, I don't particularly hate Sabah, but it's just home here. It's overseas there! (yes I tend to be a tad dramatic whenever such situation pops up) I've enjoyed Sabah during my 5 years of studying over there. Made lots of awesome friends along the way, friendship that would last a lifetime. Some of them are still there awaiting for me to arrive. But I'm still having this heavy heart.

The only thing holding me back from going back there I guess is family for now. I don't have any particular 'boyfriend' in whom I can't let go and must stay here. Its just my irreplaceable family. Gone will be the times when I can just drive 1/2 an hour back home (and at times complain why la so far!). Gone will be the times I make surprise visits back to just see my grandma and grandaunt. Gone will be the time I get to attend family gatherings during the weekend without the extra hassle. I'm just looking at things so negatively now.

I'm also actually worried about the unknowing condition that awaits me in Sabah. Yes they have replied my email stating I'd be posted in Kawasan Tuaran. But there's the extra quote there saying they have the power to overwrite that decision according to the needs of the state. So you want to put me in Pensiangan? Kinabatangan? Semporna? AAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Yes I'm scared. I've never been one to be comfortable with changes and now you leave me hanging till 12th of October? Kill me now! Kill me!!!

Okay chillax. I think I'll be hyperventilating if I continue to think like that. So breathe in, breathe out. It'll all get better. So now I think I'll sit back, chillax and think of my next strategy to relax. Till then!

C

2 comments:

Shahrul Izzam said...

You're gonna be alright lenglui! Will come n visit you wherever you might be.

Unknown said...

Thanks izzy wizzy