Forever in My Heart

DEATH.. the 5 letter word I absolutely dread hearing. It just hurts so much to lose someone. Imagine someone so near and dear to you, leaving you forever, now that's something hard to swallow ain't it?

I was so suprised when I learnt about the death of my student. For those who don't know, I taught in SDASA after my STPM. Well this girl was just the sweetest thing, quiet but around her friends, she will get bubbly too! How much has changed for the past 2 years for her. For me life has gone a 180 degree change for me since entering med school. I just wished someone, it could have been me who could have helped her through.

I'm not good with death. I think no one is or will be. My first encounter with the death was the death of my grandpa. Though I was just 8 years old at that time, I could still remember crying my eyes out during his funeral although I din exactly know what was going on. Second was the death of my dear friend Raj Kumar. How could a 14 year old get brain tumor out of no where? Life just ain't fair. I still remember Jason crying like a baby during Raj Kumar's funeral. He'll forever be remembered.

As the death list goes on, let's take a moment and reflect on our lives now. How I wish I could have helped her. But then like my dad says, there's no good in crying over spilled milk. So to my dear student in heaven joining the rest of those who are there, you'll forever be remembered. To us still here now, well I've certainly learnt that life's just too short to sigh and complain all the way. To all out there having a rough day, here's a song for ya...

Till the next post..

-karleen-

3 weeks down, 1 week to go!

It's the weekends! Weee~ Haih.. Know what with the haih~? I got class tomorrow! :'( Guess I should get use to this kinds of changes cause I bet there'll be more 'working' Saturdays ahead of me now. Another long haih~~

On a lighter note.. My car has finally arrived! yay me! So excited. Somehow it does gives me a sign of independence. I know it's just a car, but then I just can't help but feel so excited that it has finally arrived. Oh yeah. Not forgetting the love packages sent from home. Awww~ It was so nice opening up the boxes to find out what's inside. Like a child during christmas. *smiles*

Well for now, I'm still stuck writing case reports which has to be handed in next wednesdays. Words like dyspnea, palpitation, nausea, vomitting, syncope, pain, characteristic, radiation, severity, associated symptoms etc etc etc. All of it all running thru my mind now. And I just can't help but link symptoms to anyone I see, randomly adding a symptom to him/her! Pallor, jaundice, muscle wasting, muscle weakness, gait abnormality, usage of accessory muscles while breathing! Help!!!

I think I better hit the bed if not I just might go crazy. Another busy day ahead of me tomorrow! Haih~ leave you now with the song that's currently playing on 'karleenfm'

I wanna be a billionaire, so f***ing bad.. Buy all of the things I never had.. Till the next post!

-karleen-

Touching :'(

Something to ponder on..



Like what the ad says, 'How one generation loves, the next generation learns...'

Till the next post!

-karleen-

Tribute to Daddy Dearest

Since I was just a little girl, as far as i could remember, I loved following my dad around. Everywhere he goes, whether if it is to the bank, to the coffee shops, to the school (yes I've been to SDASA since I was in primary school!), to pay bills etc etc. Anywhere he goes, you'll see his army all around him. ME! :)

Papa's girls

Well it hasn't changed much until now. Although I'm far off in Sabah and he's in PD, whenever I'm back, most of the time I'll follow him around. Papa's girl everyone would call me. I'm proud of that name k? I've been following my dad around so much so that I went from not being able to see over the counter and having the ladder or papa carrying me up to look over, to now being able to look at the bank workers. *smiles*

Oh yea! Have to remember Chiang boy too..

Everywhere I went people will ask "your daughter eh Chong?" Then he'll say I'm his second daughter. And now with me studying in Sabah, the lines will follow where he says I'm taking what course, where and all la. Don't get me wrong. Papa also does that to my sis and bro too. Well I always like to think of me being his favourite daughter. (I can imagine my sis rolling her eyes now)

Now family pic :)

Since I could remember, I grew up with the line 'Wow! you look so much like your dad." or "Your sis looks like your mom, but you take after your dad.". I could remember sleeping on my sis's bed just last hols and we were actually talking about how we don't see that resemblance! Maybe it's my big forehead kot that looks like papa. What do you think?

All reds or red devil?

At home, as mom calls papa as 'dear', we went one step ahead and address him as 'papa dear'. So cute kan? Although now we just plain call 'pa', but my cuzzies till now still refer to my dad as 'pak pak dear'! (pak pak=elder uncle) Even my dad laughs about this but I know he feels so nice to be called 'papa dear' or 'pak pak dear'. I should call him that more often.

With 1harris and papa

Bringing you all a little off track, since entering clinical years, I've been exposed to so many individuals about my dad's age or even younger who have so many diseases and are left to suffer in the hospital. Hospitals aren't really a conducive area to stay as everyone would know. Whenever I go off and clerk a patient around my dad's age and suffering from illnesses, I can't help but be grateful that my family members, especially my dad are all healthy. Although there's some minor health issues, but in comparison, I'm just thankful that everyone's well. :)

Taken last year at the beach.

All I know now is, papa dear, you're the best and I wouldn't trade you in for anyone else. You've been my inspiration, my idol and just my pillar of strength ever since I was born. Thank you for putting up with a cheeky and at times naughty girl like me and I think I wouldn't be where I am now without you. How I wish I could be back to celebrate this special day with you but let's put it on a rain check ya?

My papa dear

Hopefully you'll always have that smile on your face. And I just want to say thank you and I love you. :) Till the next post!

-karleen-

Week 2.. & Counting

Wow! I survived! phew~ Just 2 weeks into clinical years I feel like a month or two has passed.. This is bad man! Oh well.. hmmm

So things are starting to get better this week. Still wandering around the wards though. Figuring out what kinda case to clerk, what kinda procedures to watch, what not to do to irritate the staffs there, what to do to make d staffs there to help u etc. Who said there's no such thing as 'hospital politics'! My gawd~ If you're close or somehow the MOs, HOs or nurses kinda like you, your life in clinical years will be so much of a bliss! Too bad for me, still an outcast, but okie la. I like how things are now.. :)

I've learnt so much on how to approach ppl, n just be thick-skinned, unafraid of being rejected or worse yet, scolded at. Although my heart's like beating super fast whenever I approach some1 to clerk or help, but the relieve you get when they actually spare their time to help you is awesome! This week I've learnt to be brave enough to perform physical examinations. It actually takes courage to touch other people's bodies ok? What if I scratched him? Or caused harm to him? Or just plain off pissed him? So many things to consider eh. Who said a doctor's job is easy?

I've developed a very weird sleeping pattern now. Here I am on a Friday nite when I can sleep as much as I want (it's the weekends!), but I'm actually having insomnia! I'm not even yawning. Oops! just yawn. Must be my brain playing a trick on me. Now I've got so much on my mind. Exam's like in 2 weeks time, my log book is like so far from completion, my first rotation is O&G, I've gained like so much of weight that it's really killing me etc. Let's just say that things aren't exactly going my way. Hopefully things turn good by the tie I wake up tomorrow. :) Off to bed now, hoping to get some rest to gain energy for the morning jog I planned to do. Please don't rain~ Till the next post..

-karleen-

Clinical years.. :(

So a week has gone by since I officially started my clinical year (after such a nice, stress-free holiday), all the thoughts running through my mind now is... 'I miss pre-clinical years!'

I know that's not exactly a good sign, but this past week has been tough. Imagine being thrown into the hospital wards, and there you are wandering aimlessly. Okie. So you must be thinking, surely some kinda instructions have been given. Well they have, but having clinical skills being practised on normal individuals and patients lying sick on the hospital beds are SO DIFFERENT!

You get the feeling that you are always in the way of the nurses, doctors even the patient! I mean c'mon! surgical patients are like in deep pain, and here we are poking here and there. One batch comes and go, then another batch comes again after 30 minutes! We're so torn over the situation. It's like wat my fren said, I don't want to be in your way, but I need to be as I have to learn.. So please bear with me? *hopeless grin*

I just hope all goes well as the time passes. I just can't stand the looks of the patients who are now petrified over the presence of my classmates and I. So sorry for all the inconvenience. All I can do now is take a deep breath, sigh, stop, change my perspective. And maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day.
(I so wanna sing Anne's song now 'Tomorrow! tomorrow! I love you, tomorrow.. You're always a day away~~)

Till the next post

-karleen-